First off, i know i haven’t posted in a long time. i have been super busy. Sorry to my whopping 6 follower! Haha sorry Kryss, I can’t even lose 10 followers. Anyways so I hope this story speaks to at least one of you. I don’t know who has a relationship with God, but this was incredible, so even if you don’t I urge you to read on.
So this is going to be long it begins Wednesday April 25, but lets start with some back story. So I have not had a good relationship with my parents growing up due to them talking poorly of me when they thought i couldn’t hear them all the time, their controling tenancies, my mother sharing everything that should be kept in the family at parties, and more recently they don’t like my relationship with God (they are throwing church things in my face when all they care about is going every Sunday to be ‘righteous’) and they don’t like my relationship with my girlfriend. Now my girlfriend and I have gone through some really hard things recently including a break up, but that is what lead me to actually open a relationship with God when she couldn’t get me too no matter how hard she tried. We actually don’t really call each other boyfriend and girlfriend because we don’t feel like that is what we are, and we don’t care for societies labels. We are in love, hows that,?Don’t like it? Suck it up.Now together we have felt God changing us, especially me, and we know He wants us to be together. I can explain that some other time but just know we as three because it takes all three of us are growing closer and stronger as a triple braid. Now with love especially from God, you can do crazy things. Think of movies like Titanic, or The Notebook, or Pride and Prejudice. They are full of crazy things done for love, and that doesn’t seem to happen so much these days. a good 98%+ would have given up on what we are facing right now, but having God helps. We like to say we are facing things that married couples face after a fey years, maybe more. And so my parents don’t like me sacrificing things and doing crazy things for this relationship (staying up late to make her feel better after hurting her and working on things and skipping classes for this). Let alone they don’t get how this relationship is a three way thing with God. I know it may be hard to understand, ask me questions if you would like. Then there is my situation, so last year I was at aviation school but over the summer decided I would rather see my future family on holidays, I like flying but not for a job, and I like weird designing and science stuff. So my girlfriend and I look stuff up, and I decide I am going to go to a local community college then transfer for engineering. Parents didn’t like that and still think I did it for my girlfriend and her family. So I am in second semester with all engineering classes (Calc 2, Chem 2, Physics 1) and almost done. now i think you get the picture.
So here we go. Wednesday 8 pm i get back from a long day of classes, and my mom starts complaining about what I am doing, and I fell God telling me that everyone bows down to this woman (yes my dad really does too) so be the man you are and stand up for yourself. So I do and she starts getting really mad. (have 3 brothers, I’m 3 of 4, and I never saw anyone stand up against her) Then she starts complaining that my girlfriend thinks this house is unworthy so she wont come over any more. Now that’s not the case. She has been getting mad at them for the way they have been treating me and doesn’t want to be around them and I have no reason to change her mind. I’m feeling the way she is a bit. So I defend my girlfriend and I did it sternly, I wouldn’t let her talk the way she was about my girl. This is when she snapped and yelled to leave. Here I feel God say “Well we knew this was coming since they wanted to make a contract if i was to stay over the summer, so just take it. Hold your head high, this is where you get free of this.” So I take it. I started moving all my stuff to my girlfriend’s parents house and i get a friend at a local college to take me in his dorm. This takes 2 days. Now Wednesday night I get 1 hour of sleep from moving things and then talking to my girl.
Thursday I have a Chemistry Exam. I have not learned anything in class but I learned it through a practice exam which is counted as a quiz. So I am sort of prepared but I was still way out of the loop. Here is God, so on the test 7 of the questions were the same ones on the quiz and then the rest are really similar and the test is graded 24 out of 20. so there are 4 E.C. problems and it was easy. This was incredible. That night I finished moving stuff out and get one hour of sleep again talking to my girl. Like i said I hurt her and I get all twisted from what God wants and made me to be. This is worth it though. I have no doubts that I won’t be perfect but what God wants of me will be enough for our braid.
Now Friday was a Calculus test. Now this one is really important. I have a really high C and I want to pull it up so i don’t have to retake it. Now for all of this unit, I missed all the classes, so I had no idea what we had to do on the test. I didn’t do any homework either. So 2 hours before the test I freak out and try calling my girl to break down cause I was giving up. I couldn’t think. Her phone was dead so I skype called her cause she had ear-buds in so she can hear if I call if I need help. We she answers, knocks her ear-buds out of her ears and instantly fell back asleep. I was like “Nooo! Why God, why did she hit her ear-bud out? Now I can’t call her to wake her up to talk.” Well God had his reasons that I can’t see because of my ability to see time in the moment moving in one direction and not knowing what He is going to do. So an hour before the test I go to tell the teacher what has happened this week to see if I can take it Monday. No luck, but God sparked a willingness to study. I sat down with my text book, which i always have trouble understanding, to try and learn a whole unit in one hour with no practice. I stared a theorems and equations for all of it. Now I had basically had no expectations to do above a 30%. I said to God, “Well whatever, I guess it will be the way you want.” Little did i know I was right, but in the wrong way. He was working my brain like a hamster wheel. He kept me relaxed but I did not expect this. I get the test and flip over the test and just write out all the formulas down and start pounding out the test. I was able to apply everything and answer every question, even the E.C. with confidence. There only was one question I was unsure about and one other that I flipped the answer negative instead of positive. Where does that come from!!! No sleep and no studying and I feel like a got an A! God was working in me. He was showing me that though I am going through a tough time in finding who I am, being who I really am, and being kicked out, He was with me. In ways I never even knew was possible. That type of thing is incredible. God totally turned me around and got me working and working well. I am so amazed at God. He has done what I thought was not possible. Now this my not sound that great reading this, I’m not the best writer but I tell you it was larger than life. I was kicked out and getting that figured out, trying to be so much for my girl, running on 2 hours of sleep for over 50 hours (Which when I get tired I usually get so tired I basically can’t function) and had 2 test in which I had not been in class for for the last 3 weeks. I can’t tell you how incredible it is to have God love me so much that he put me back on my feet in a pinch where I feel completely hopeless. I feel like I’m out on a tight rope over a canyon right now. I moved out so I feel the freedom like I am flying but I am walking on a wire trying to balance out large wights thrown ta me. And there God is keeping me up there and pushing me forward and all I can do now is love Him and love the chaos which He lets me walk through because it is absolutely beautiful.